I am not even sorry for not liveblogging last night’s show. It was BORING. Katy Perry and that girl from X-Factor a couple of years back are singing tonight.
We open with a Glee inspired cover of Lady Gaga’s Telephone. Dermot reminds us that they need to make money, so you better download that cover song on iTunes.
A recap of last night’s performances – the sort of two minute compilation that serves as a more than adequate replacement for actually watching the Saturday show.
Storm was scary in his dynamic rockstar avatar.
TreyC’s Purple rain was screechy, but the judges think she was better than sliced bread.
Paije’s coat has bobby print.
One direction – well, let’s just say that I am not the target audience.
Cher – well, she is not here to sing, isn’t she?
John – one word, boring.
Diva Fever – well, that’s Entertainment.
Rebecca – Her lips are poisonous. But her performance was very cool.
Aiden – the possessed singer, and he admits it that it was rubbish.
Wagner – Vote for him! And whoa, the dancers groped.
Katie – We don’t need another Duffy.
Belle Amie – No we don’t get you.
Mary – genius as ever
Matt Cardle – weak performance compared to last week’s. And boy, he’s losing his hair.
Okay, okay. Time for Diana Vickers. The routine is very desperately a cross between Lady Gaga and Kylie Minogue, if I may say. Nothing original about the vocals. And trust me, no one is going to remember this by Christmas.
What.eva! Dermot reminds us, 5 minutes to go for the voting to get closed. Time for a break. And after the break, Katy Perry performs. See you on the other side.
Back from the break. Katy’s up next. Do I like her? No. But I don’t mind if she’s playing at some club. Apparently, she’s been no.1 in 16 countries. I didn’t know that.
She begins with all sorta fireworks in the background. And then she holds one, just like that statue in New York. Her vocals are all over the place. But who the fuck cares. At least she’s not miming.
Eh! Dermot reminds us of the reason why we’re all here. The results i.e. Of course, he’ll be announcing those in Davina McCall snail speed. See you after the break.
BTW, that advert of Freesat “There’s no catch” is one of the worst adverts ever.
Welcome after the break for the results. So, lemme remind you all, tonight is also a double elimination. OMFG, this is edge of the seat stuff. Judges and their respective contestants are on the stage. Let the results be revealed.
Lowest voted act goes home now.
The safe acts are: –
*I bet Aiden is going home tonight*
Safe act – Matt
*Dermot announces the name too fast for the contestants to react*
Safe act – One direction (duh!)
Mary. She takes her own time to react.
Cher (Look at Louis’ reaction)
Paije (Louis is counting)
9th act through to next week – TreyC
Wagner – Wooohooo!!! (Simon has a facepalm LOL)
The final safe act is – Aiden (whaa!!!)
The act with the lowest vote is – Storm. Storm is eliminated.
After the break, Diva Fever and Belle Amie sing to stay in the competition. Can I be any less interested?
Welcome after the break. Both are Simon’s acts. Singing for survival first – Diva Fever.
Diva Fever’s performance was not good. Let’s just keep it at that. They sang – I’ll survive. And the pitching was all over the place. I don’t know if the judges will keep them because they are entertaining. Also depends how bad the girls fuck it up.
Belle Amie is next. Their performance was cutesy and cheesy, and they almost made out in the end. Ok, that was just me creating a rumour.
Down to the judges now. Let’s see who they decided to send back home.
Louis – sending home Diva Fever
Danny – sending home Diva Fever
Cheryl – sending home Diva Fever.
So there you go. Diva Fever are going home. Ok, it has been two weeks, and two groups have gone home.