We’ve got shed loads of Poster material for all you picture hungry folks. There’s Danny Trejo’s insanely grey face staring you down. There’s a new Bourne on the rise, Alien Nazis back from the Moon, a sneak peek at the new Dredd, and apparently Evil is spreading worldwide. Not to forget a faceless Clive Owens. Hit the jump to find out what we really mean.
The sequel to the slasher flick that had flying machetes overshadowing Lilo’s lesbian nun act – Machete Kills, is Robert Rodriguez’s B-action fantasy featuring Danny Trejo. And we aren’t complaining. The filming hasn’t started yet (supposedly, it is starting in April), but this simple yet effective promo poster sells the movie well with just two shades – Black and Red. Trejo looks bloody menacing, and we can’t wait him to slice the screen into two.
9E3K rating: 4 Chopping Slices Out of 5
Next up, are Nazis returning back to planet Earth, from the Dark side of the moon. As preposterous as that might sound, it might just turn out to be quite fun. Especially, that Sarah Palin-esque election campaign poster in the background is spot on hilarious. It is a mish-mash of alternate history timeline meets sci-fi, and in our book, that goes down as a must watch. If you are not blown away by the lead lady in that skimpy uniform, look… they’ve got space balloons.
9E3K Rating: 3.5 Kabooms Out of 5
Here’s a wiped out face of Clive Owen to scar you for life. Someone went a bit full throttle with the Agent Smith’s idea of – “What good is a phone call, if you can’t speak”. I think the poster sets the tone right, and the nightmare that it points out, is rightly projected in this single frame. Ever felt helpless in a nightmare, when you’re in the middle of something horrible, and you cannot wake up, or scream, or speak. I think that is the idea. Cannot wait for this!
9E3K Rating: 4 Eyeballs and a mouth Out Of 5
The Disney funded mega-budget scifi CGI movie – John Carter, which is already under a lot of discussion for overspending, seems to be more troubled, judging by the looks of this poster. Just look at that, and tell me, how can one say from this that this is a live action movie. I’ve got two words – False Advertising.
9E3K Rating: 1 Mars Bar Out of 5
You guys must’ve seen the trailer by now. And by all means, all my doubts for this movie, for not having Matt Damon reprise his role of Jason Bourne are washed away by the hardcore bad-assery of Mr.Renner. He’s the next big action star, or prolly, he already is one. There’s nothing special about the poster, but it still makes Renner stand out as a killing machine. Cannot wait for this movie to hit me in the face. And oh look… Edward Norton is in too bitches.
9E3K Rating: 4 Kapows Out of 5
We wind up this post with the final two posters;
Yes, seriously WTF? Yet another Resident Evil Movie – Resident Evil Retribution. Who pays for this shit!! Apparently, quite a lot of you guys did watch the last one.. in 3D. And seems like, someone was on some substance, and was released to unleash his fury in Photoshop.
9E3k Rating: Bitch please!
Finally, this is not a poster, just a sneak peek at Karl Urban as the remade version of Stallone – in Dredd. Enjoy!
Someone please release the trailer for Dredd soon.